I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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