Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
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