Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
