Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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