If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
