I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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