I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
