I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
