One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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