she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Randomize
