i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
