And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize