so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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