A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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