i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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