I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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