it wasn't lemon gatorade
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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