....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
