Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
