just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
