Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
