Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
