she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Randomize
