covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
