I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Randomize
