drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
