Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
