please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
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