why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Your penis caused this!
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