man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
