Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Randomize
