the new term for farting is butt boxing.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
this just has baby written all over it
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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