yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize