Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
