he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
