After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
She's like a pop up book from hell.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
