Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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