If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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