I'm so fucking centered right now
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Randomize
