I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Welp...herpes.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
