I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Randomize
