Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
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