And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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