I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Randomize
