Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
3pm strippers are depressing
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Randomize