Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize