Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
