We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
