playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
