someone threw a dead crab at me
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
