he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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