my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
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