when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
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