your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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