We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
