what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
