After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
