Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
The cops high fived after they tackled you
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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