This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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