In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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