saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Randomize
