My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
im six kinds of drunk right now
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Randomize
