dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
