I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize